Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
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Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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