So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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