did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
