someone threw a dead crab at me
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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