When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
