You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
