so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
