make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
