New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Dicks are not precious.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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