i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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