woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i think i have two assholes
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize