Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
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He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
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After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
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