my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
