I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
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