he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I've blown a few things in my day
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Randomize
