I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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