Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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