Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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