Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
