So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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