I'm lost and stupid without you.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
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I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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