I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Boobs are out for the taking
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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