Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
