fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
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