If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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