You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
party gras won. party gras always wins.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
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