i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
