Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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