i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
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He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
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I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
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