so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
