I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
