Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
