He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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