i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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