so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
