Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Randomize
