What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
