I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
