he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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