I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
