People with herpes should wear stickers.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
We need to get me chipped asap
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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