Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
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Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
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If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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