new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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