...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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