Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
