I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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