She's JV to your varsity
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
