member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I'm at about main and main street
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
