You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
