I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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