am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
God I need to hump something, right now.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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