some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
You're like the curious george of whores
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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