It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
