So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
