Its about making memories worth repressing
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
