he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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