I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
