my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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