The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
