Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Operation Purity has been aborted
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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