im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
