i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
