As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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