do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
