i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
