yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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